Procrastinate Like There's No Tomorrow, Literally.

     I procrastinate so much that it landed me in supplemental housing this freshman year at Penn State. I procrastinate so much that I’m writing this blog instead of writing my seven page research paper due Thursday. I procrastinate so much that I do not even know how I am going to get back to school prior to the last day of spring break. But that’s okay. Because without procrastination, my life would not be half as interested, near as suspenseful, and one fourth as successful.

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     All that nonsense about doing your best work not the night before is all hoopla. We need a little worry and anxiety in our lives or the ending result of the majority of our endeavors would not be as influential. I love my ability to hand in a piece of work two hours after I complete it and still manage to receive an A grade. It just makes those previous hours even sweeter. And the sigh of relief after releasing that paper from the clammy hands of procrastination is way more effective than if it were to be after four days of typing/putting off, typing/putting off, and typing/putting off.

     Being a procrastinator should be listed on your resume, applications, and eHarmony profile. People should embrace this trait because it adds a little more spice to a relationship or work ethic. Things will and always do get done, but the fact that I’ll keep you on your toes is more desirable than the dull fellow next to me who hands his paper in the week before it’s due. Sure you look organized and studious and all that crap, but to me you just look like a donkey’s backside for attempting to make me look ill prepared. Real cool guy, real cool.

     So don’t despise your inability to do assignments on time. Praise it because it’s stimulating, exhilarating, and awe-inspiring. Words from the procrastinator herself.